At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
