But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
