So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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