Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
