I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
