at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize