Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
