you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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