He is such a slut. More and more my type.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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