I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
