If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i've created a new STD.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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