Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
