My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
