Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
