My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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