Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
