Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
