If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
