he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
