The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
