We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
