It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
