hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
