The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I wish i was in the wii world.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
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Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
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Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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