I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
