She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
