Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just threw up on my dentist
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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