Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
