i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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