Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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