I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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