Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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