Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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