her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
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Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?