He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.