Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
