Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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