Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
