my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
