So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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