Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
