He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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