4 words: hood of his car
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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