I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
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