Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he fucked my hip out of place.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
