I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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