Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize