yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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