I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
