My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
