She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
