is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
