I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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