its not stalking. its research.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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