She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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