What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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