Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
