It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
