I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
