I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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