it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
