yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
