My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you had me at cake vodka
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
