My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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