she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How's work?
Spinning.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
