Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize