she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Its about making memories worth repressing
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
