if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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